Diving into code

It’s fair to say I’ve had a tough week. I’ve been working on a project built with a framework that I wasn’t familar with, and if I’m honest not fond of either. I felt like it was never going to end, but I got through it, and now feel great.

I was dreading Monday. I knew that it was going to be a struggle, but I rolled up my sleeves and got stuck in anyway. As the week progressed things started to make more sense. Finally this morning, everything fell into place, and the project is almost complete.

This isn’t an uncommon occurance. It happens all the time. In fact it’s been happening to me ever since I started making websites, and as crazy as it sounds, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

To me it literally feels like diving into code. For an unspecified amount of time, you immerse yourself in a codebase, feeling like you’ll never make it back to the surface. At times it’s incredibly unpleasant, but you keep battling through, and then all of a sudden, you arise victorious - and that feeling makes it’s all worth it.

I’ve definitely had times where I’ve felt like I’m not good enough to do my job, or that I’m not progressing fast enough - you know, our old friend imposter syndrome. Unsurprisingly, these times coincide with the times where I’m not working on anything particularly challenging. In other words, when I’m not pushing myself or learning anything new.

I must admit, sometimes it’s nice to build something that I could do with my eyes shut, but that gets old very quickly. I didn’t get into this industry for an easy life. I want to learn. I want to push myself. I want to make progress.